Wednesday, April 30, 2008
More to myself...
Starting to hang out with the group that I'm not use to..
I kindda invisible to them but I think at this moment, I really want to be invisible
The relation between me and my "so call best buddy" slowly begins to drift apart cause His mind still on games (pc games I mean) while for me, games make me stress, even I just watch people play it, I tend to get stress every easily... Seriously saying I can't study when people is playing infront of me.. Sorry if I have to be somewhere else like study room, cause I need to focus on my studies.. I know you want to study with me but I can't help it if you just sit there playing games waiting for me to get mad at you and baru nak start blajar.. I'm not like you - can study anywhere... Rambut sama hitam tapi hati lain-lain...
Basicly my mind right now focus on the upcoming exam which is Management.. So because of this, I will be busy trying to cover up all the topics, thus I'll have to leave the problems aside..
I'm too lazy to argue anymore, What I could do is just play along with what ever games He and She plan to do.. I won't lose anything right?!? Since I like Her and still is, might as well biarkan aje lah..
Aku nak tengok sampai bila dorang nak sembunyikan semua ini... Bila mereka nak jujur kepada ku.. Walaupun aku sudah tahu hal sebenarnya, aku akan pura - pura tidak tahu kerna itu yang mereka mahukan... He berpegang kepada janji konon.. and what about Her? What is Her reason..
Tak apalah.. the truth soon reveal..
I will treat you guys, like how you guys want to be treated...
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
But lately I have none from my friends..
I feel like as if I'm a lab mouse, that being test on... Everyone knows whats going on except me...
I used to think that I have a lot of friends, who I can share everything with and don't feel ashamed to be open up to.. but now things change...
I don't blame the situation where I have to move from Brunei to Malaysia but its just that, it is hard for me to blend in..
Now I thought I found the persons that I could share my life with, my problems and my happiness but infact its all just my imagination... I'm the only one who think he and she is my best friends but for them..?!?!?! I don't think so...
People always tell me "Ramdzan jangan berfikirankan negative sangatlah... it is bad for your health." Well I do thing so sometimes, but I can't help it.. Usually naluri sangat tajam that I know something is wrong.. but I don't know what is it..
And when I know the truth from others.. guess what? you already know it too... from the mouth of the lioness itself pulak tu... like okay... Even though you promised to her to keep it secret.. but I'm your friend, why didn't you at least warn me indirectly... At least aku tahu from you... Not from others.. Is that what friends for???
I know sometimes, I can be stubborn and all but is it too much for you to be jujur to me?
Because of this and other factors, I feel like I have no one to go to... No one can back me up...
I have no one to trust and no one to lend me hands when I'm down...
Thankx to N.... who understand me the most... She called me up last night since I asked her to... We talked for hours.. I really need that since I have no one to turn to.. Before back in Brunei, when ever I'm down I could just give a ring to any of my friends and talk.. but now All my friends in Brunei is hard to be in contact.. and the fact that I don't have any friends here made me have to keep it to myself... Its hurt though since I'm not that type of person...
N.... she listened to me.. when I'm done she give me a bit of advice and then change to subject.. Just like that...
She could change the moody-ness I have stored inside and crying like shit.. suddenly you know it I'm laughing Like hell...
Tapi I couldn't lie to myself... this morning when I woke up... Everything feel different... I still think what had happen.. It still fresh in my mind..
A deep cut could be heal just like that, when it did the scars still remain..
So now I'm writing this blog.. To express everything I have in my mind...
since my life starting from today is like A guy standing alone without friends... striving for success...
Me and Erin using the UiTm bas along with the UiTM staff.
It takes 2 hours drive from Larkin Jb to Kota tinggi..
She really did look pretty... Berubah giler!!!!!
Selamat ya Lyn!!!!!
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
30 years old is an excellent age, but after all everything depends on ALLAH right?
2. Where will you go if someone sponsor you a tour ticket?
Back to Brunei of cause... OR go visit Najat kat Perth OR go to Glasgow visit Azim
3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Being vain.. taking pictures of myself and others
4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
NOpE but it sure can make you feel better after when you able to buy something to make yourself satisfied
5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
I would want to be with all my good friends to share everything and have fun.. just for one whole day..
6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
nope I believe in such thing anymore.. cause we are living in a modern world.. Money is a factor for everything
7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
KEjujuran dari mereka yang aku percaya...
8. who are you goin to tag?
I'm just to lazy to tag anyone
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
YEs OF Cause!!! but If i LOVE only...
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
Okay since there are 3 gorgegous ladies who tagged me so I will list them separately..
cute, trust-worthty and kind hearted
LAWa,Pandai menyanyi and true-est friend
Sexy.., jujur and fun to be with
11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?
12. What type of person do you hate the most?
hypocrite and and tiada kejujuran
13. What is your ambition?
Lecturer or Work in bank or set up my own business
14. If you can teleport once, where would you go
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family & Friends
16. If you could undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be?
Nothing... Cause anything that happen base on Qada' and qadar ALLah
17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
Terlampau jujur.. As in too straight forward
18. What music have you been listening to recently?
19. What is your least favourite animal?
20. What would you do if no electricity for one week?
In the hostel? Well balik rumah lah.. hahahah
21. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Half of it aku simpan for future use.. half believe apa yang aku perlukan..
22. Amazing & excited experience today than My usual daily life
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
There are lots of event happenned yesterday...
A lots of picture taking...
A lot of excitement...
But Rite now
I guess I'm too lazy to blog about it..
Since later I will be going to Kota Tinggi with Erin and other lecturers using the UiTM bas, So I better off Collect and group everything from yesterday to today's event and post it in one go... hehehe...see how lazy I am...okay then...
Jalan - jalan dulu..
Friday, April 25, 2008
20 years old
- Girl thankz for everything.....
- Happy 20th B'day.. hahahah 20 yo... like okay...haha the big 2.0.
- Wish everything for everything and celebrate gile gile tau ...
- ALL the best!!!!!!!
- Miss you lot...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
It was just fine, we were given 3 hours to sit the exam.. but frankly I can finish it just for 45mints. So simple right if like that? What we had to do is just comprehension, and short essay (180-200words).. And the comprehension is unlike O'level the passage is quite long and all ni simple gile and sikit.. so damn easy hahaha but I don't know whether I could get full mark or not cause I tend to be careless if it is so easy like that.. hahaha
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I terbangun pun because Erin called me up and ajak pergi jumpa Ms Raziah sebab she ada tersalah kira markah for 2nd test... So bersiap and when to her office.. Then borak - borak ngan her then after that *blank*
Tak tahu nak buat ape...
Macam for the first time I'm not being rational
Don't know why.. And receive text from N... asking me to jumpa HER and settle everything ..(it is paksaan but its good.. i really need that) Then I ask prof to set a meeting me and HER kat kafe waktu lunch... then we met.. I felt really awkward that make me said nothing.., nothing at all.. I just pretending to baca newspaper..(baca konon) and helping my friends buat maths.. haha pathetic !!!!!
I just want her to say "u nak jumpe i ke?" <- just that tapi tak ade pun.. like arhgh then few mins later she just went away..like okay.. then Prof said dia pergi dulu.. like arghh.. then aku pergi the nearest toilet, cause my system is breaking down.. lama gak aku kat sinking.. raising water through my face.. then rupanye prof ade kat dalam toilet jugak.. Shi* Malu seh.. tak pernah orang nampak I'm acting macam baby.. hahahahah Dia advice aku and all.. we talk and talk and talk.. then he told me.. that S... ada kat library then he asked me to pergi confront with her 'face to face'... So I kemas - kemas dan kesat all my tears...like okay.. (talor jua lah).. then I went to the library.. rupanya maybe She memang nak jumpa I.. Then we talk talk talk.. then we broke into laughter... Basicly its just missed communication.. Her friends yang buat andaian that She takut cause I take advantage her.. But actually She just takut and nervous sebab dah lama tak jumpa I.. since Kitorang just talk on the fone and text thats all and jumpa dah lama tidak sebab itu dia macam nervous and tak tahu ape nak cakap when jumpa... About me touching her and all.. what She told her friend is that dia cuma tak selesa cause she never done anything like that and I'm the first guy yang ever touch her.. Tapi dia tak nak tegur aku .. dia just rela kan je sebab when being with me dia rasa macam cair and all.. (okay thats weird) Like I told her if U think tak selesa, just tegur ... I tak kesah.. cuma please be jujur ...then everything dah settle..
I still like her.. And even more..
And now I can think rationally.. so back to study mode PEOPLE!!!!!!..
BLajar Blajar Blajar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH seriously.. I missed her too... now that I talk to her again.. like BEst nyer!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha K MOHD RAMDZAN BIN ISMAIL belajar!!!!! esok exam bel.. which english hahah WISH ME LUCK
Monday, April 21, 2008
Everything gone so well until yesterday... yesterday when I call HER but her friend pick up.. And she said that S... also missed me but Afraid of me.. afraid of how I look into her eyes.. afraid the way I act around HER.. Like y? y?
I like her, yes I do.. but please be honest to me... If I did something wrong why she did just straight way tell, why did she has to tell others first...
Then when I called last night, she pick up.. I ask her why.. but she just said "its just her feeling, sometimes she feel like wanting to meet me but sometimes she is afraid.."
So I suggest we meet to settle everything.. but I made up excuse that she wanted to study.. (like what?, I also want to study.. but if like this how can I?)
I asked her to turun but she didn't want.. Then she just off her phone...then I called her again and again then she answered... she said okay tomorrow (thats mean today) we will meet and talk about this.. but I don't want this thing 'di lengah-lengah kan cause I want to study and I need to be focus but with all this f*** up thing how can I?
Then she off again her phone like S***
How can I not mad if something small like this being brought as if it is a big deal then when I want to settle everything she just delayed it..
Aku agak GEram ah well bukan lagi agak, tapi memang GERAM
I went back into my room... I can't sleep and and I can't read/ study anything.. but mind being messed up with this stupid stuff... My buddy came to me, and asked what happen.. I told him everything.. I just can't bother to keep it to myself...
After I finished talking and all, he told me something I should know earlier... And that something is really stupid... And Fudge!!!!!!!!!
He told me why SHE avoiding me and why SHE is afraid of me...
The reasons is that "I'm taking advantage of her".. She told all her room mate about this... He said if I didn't believe him I may as well asked all her room mate..
I like S**T
Am I like that? What made her think that I'm taking advantage of her... ?
Okay If she think Like That! What did I do... yes I did touch her hand but it's just touch.. I didn't even hold her hand... PEGANG and SENTUH lain okay.. Well okay maybe it's when I took picture with her.. I did but my hand around her back.. But that is just me... I did it to all the girls not just her..
BESIDE.... I did tell everything about me... EVERYTHING!!! I told her that I wanna change.. she is the first that I fall that is not sexy or over socialise... I told her I want her to guide me and change me.. I want her to be jujur with me.. If how I acted to her is a bit over, tegur aku... cause thats what I want. somehing new.. but now.. why is she like this.. I thought she likes me too but why she can't even be truth to me.. instead she told her friends.. Isn't that will give me a bad name..?
Seriously I don't give a damn With my reputation... For me reputation is just bullshi* score high mark is what important...
But yang buat aku kesal sangat kenape tak jujur saje dengan aku...
My heart being torn into pieces...
I still like her.. don't know why...
that night I called E... just to luah kan everything.. then I text N... saying that I'm heart broken.. suddenly I receive called from her.. Thank god she called me.. at least she cools me down.. She knows me more then anyone...
She advises me and motivate me.. she injected me with the positive side of S... cause what is in my mind is just negative, thats balance everything and made me think in sense...
Then after that called, I just telan pill panadol active fast so that I fell sleep and fall asleep.. before I shut my eyes, I pray to ALLAh for wisdom..
Today I woke up early... but I didn't even bother to go to the maths revise class that started at 8.30am instead I just wasting my time dreaming... then I decide to enter the 10 o'clock revise class but then I couldn't concentrate.. So I just walk out of that class..
Later I wait for HER to come to me.. or called me.. of text me... to explain everything..
But my hopes is just *POOooff~* like that.. So I decide to join my friends went to C.S. liat cerita hantu "CONGKAK"..
Ceritanya just bagi suspend je.. not scary at all... I rate it 3 out of 10... cause I actually felt bored in the cinema.. jalan cerita dia tak best.. BTw S... missed called me once while I'm buying the tickets but really kejap.. not more then one ring.. then while aku makan before masuk wayang.. She call be .. but .. since aku dah tawar hati I just reject her call..
After that me and my friends go to K.BOX!!!!!! like I really need to sing....... I did sing ..well not actually singing more like shouting my throat off.. BEST giler..
I now I'm back... to the campus... writing this blog in the library ... I feel stupid tho being treating like this...
I am trying to find someone that is perfect through my eyes...
I want someone
- that doesn't make me bored
- Know how to sing
- I like everything about her
- I adore her
- Most IMportantly trust me.. and JUJUR dengan aku.. cause I'm the type of person yang open minded.. U.. rosak macam mane pun.. perangai you buruk macam mana pun.. I want you to show me.. tell me... THE TRUTH.. cause I really hate LIAR!!! I that things hear from you not from other...
Tell you guys the truth... I still like her... and I still want her.. but right now aku pasrah.. cause for me if you just trying to be the best infront of me baik tak payah... Now aku just waiting bila kejujuran akn terserlah...
Kerana suka sangat kat dia.. biarlah aku mengundur diri.. aku tak nak dia kecewa.. and aku tak nak dia fikir aku ambil kesempatan of her so... let her be...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
My real life...
Outside the campus.. Outside UiTM
They all thought that I'm rich, they all thought I'm manja and they all thought my life is complex
Yes I didn't take the offer of borrowing money from 'PTPTN' for my studies, doesn't mean that I'm rich.. it's just that I have plan.. Diploma is not that expensive so why should I borrow when my dad said he still can 'mampu' to support me. I will borrow it when I take degree later.. And why they said I'm rich? My dad is just a coach... not a manager..
Okay they said I'm manja.. Well I admit I'm manja cause I'm the last child.. I don't have any younger sister or brother after. That's why I'm sensitive sometimes, A BiT soft(not gay just a bit soft) and a big headed sometimes. But I do know how to manja others too.. Cause I have nephew and niece.. I love them very much..
And just because I being raise in Brunei but born in Malaysia, and now come back to Malaysia for further studies doesn't mean that my live is complex... I love Brunei And I malaysia... I've known Brunei for all My life is it wrong for me to leave in the place I was born..and trying to explore it..
I never share the inside of my family life and all cause it is too simple to tell.. My life is simple and I'm a simple guy... I enjoy simple food and enjoy simple relaxation... I'm not rich and I'm not poor .. My family status is just simply in the middle...
I LOVE MY SIMPLE FAMILY
This is the carrier mark for mgt162
1 2007107255 ABDUL HADI BIN KASSIM 30.1
2 2007107273 ABDUL MUJIB BIN BAINAMIN 30.7
3 2007142545 AMIRAH AZIZAH BINTI ABDULLAH 25.1
4 2007107241 AZHARI BIN AZMI 13.3
5 2007140263 DIYANA DEWI BINTI ZAID 33.1
6 2007107299 FADHILAH BINTI KHOSNI 31.2
7 2007140483 HAIRUL AFFANDY BIN SUHAIMI 32.3
8 2007408622 IZZATI HUSNA BT ISMAIL 31.2
9 2007408702 MOHAMMAD HAZIM BIN MOHD HISHAM 28.5
10 2007107295 MOHAMMAD SALLEHIN BIN BOGIMAN 35.4
11 2007132131 MOHD AFEEQ BIN MOHD JAMIL 24.0
12 2007107243 MOHD DZULAZMI BIN NORDIN 28.3
13 2007107263 MOHD RAMDZAN BIN ISMAIL 35.4
14 2007107251 MOHD SHAFFEK BIN YUSOFF 33.3
15 2007107287 MUHAMAD AFIQ BIN ARIS 21.1
16 2007107271 MUHAMAD FAUZI BIN HUSIN 10.7
17 2007107279 MUHAMAD MUZHAFAR BIN MD ABID 26.9
18 2007107283 MUHAMMAD SYAHMIN BIN SAMINGAN 30.5
19 2007132031 MUHD SAIFUL A'IZUDDIN BIN AHMAD ZAKI 30.4
20 2007107301 NOOR ASSILA BINTI JOHARI 32.5
21 2007107291 NOOR AZREEN BTE ARIS 31.3
22 2007107237 NOR AZANI BINTI FADZIL 33.3
23 2007107293 NORHAFIZ BIN ISHAK 27.5
24 2007132399 NUR FARAH AIDA BINTI AZHAR ' 28.5
25 2007142541 NUR KHAIRAH BINTI MUSTAPA 25.5
26 2007107275 NUR MUNIRAH BINTI YAHYA 34.5
27 2007132027 NUR SOFIA BTE AZHAR 32.5
28 2007107245 NURBADARINA BINTI MOHD BADARUDDIN 30.8
29 2007132029 NURSHUHADAH BT HUSSAIN 24.6
30 2007107247 NURUL AIN BINTI OTHMAN 32.0
31 2007107289 RADIN MOHD AIZAT BIN RADIN ISHAK 30.2
32 2007107297 RIZAL BIN HUSSIN 30.8
33 2007408654 ROSLINA BT ABD NOH 31.0
34 2007142539 SITI MASLINDA BINTI MASNAN 29.0
35 2007107265 SITI NOR DIYANA BINTI MOHAMAD 32.6
36 2007107277 SITI NOR JAMALIA BINTI ABD JAMAL 29.0
37 2007107285 SITI NORERNITA BINTI SURANI 32.8
38 2007107257 SITI ZULAIKHA BINTI MOHAMAD ZAMRI 31.3
39 2007107239 SYAFINAZ BINTI MOHD RAMLI 31.9
40 2007107267 SYAHRUL ADIKA BIN AHMAD FUAD 28.9
Look at my mark !!! You see why didn't I get like this masa from 6? It prove that I didn't study from the beginning.. Kalau I study aku boleh score... Just lets Alevel as my past k? dont wana talk about it... All the mark above is over 40
Even I score.. HER... she did really nail it.. I wana share my happiness with her but.. I'm afraid to make her feel down again.. maybe I need to skip this part.. cause I want HER to be happy... No stress...
Stress OUT byebye
This is book That I have to read, I know it is small and short but I'm tooo Damn LAZY
And then yesterday, while I finished writing my blog... the current being cut off..I thought like all around the neighbourhood being cut.. Rupanye just my house hahak..Then I call abg sebelah rumah tengok kan the switch all .. rupanya ada short.. We called the tenaga national people.. malam macma kul 8pm wah baru durang datang .. Its really dark hahaha palui(bodoh)
Malam baru okay.. tapi malas pulak nak blajar. My mom tak sempat nak masak so me and my cuzen went to kadai makan near to my house... We hangout and just borak - borak.. Then while I ate I try to call HER.. then she pick up, We talk as usual then she said shes not mad at me.. and shes okay now.. she start to be terus terang.. tell me everything... the flame that had just started to blow now, its begins to relight again.. this what I want from this "thing".. trust.. the truth.. now I know the negative side of her...and I guess I can bear with it...
She doesn't like to be called that often.. that makes her feel uneasy.. she doesn't like us to waste credit and time just to sms... and I think thats what i need rite now, a knock on my head.. Ni kan masa EXAM so fudge this all thing focuss focus!!!!! hahah
This is what I ate "mee kong poo" haha weird huh?
okay then later...
Friday, April 18, 2008
Sometimes i feel like killing myself...
All the negative stuff overwhelm me..
I don't know how should I think and react any more...
I easily touch when people say bad things about me.. and I'm easily get mad when something gone wrong
She is stressing about her Carrier mark since she got the lowest among all...
She blames herself for being stupid
I tried to "pujuk" her but she wont let me...
I want to be there when she need shoulder to cry on and I want to be there every time she need someone to talk to... But...
She won't let me...
She just shut me out of her life just like that...
I wanna teach her and she don't want... She prefer study alone up stairs in her room..
I admit maybe the way I teach is a bit 'garang' but I can change...
I always change
What should I do.?
When I called her she didn't pick up... when I text her she didn't reply...
It's like she avoiding me..
When she does pick up, she acts as if nothing happen.. She said shes not mad and all... just that she is stupid.. that's what coming out from her mouth.. ERGHH!!
AGAK bengang jugak aku dengar kadang - kadang tapi I still like her.. y? Y? y?
I know I still can concentrate on my studies.. I still can focus on the subjects but, the stress and Worried of everything now Showing on my face,... I cant hide them anymore..
And the feeling of unsatisfied masih ade..
Like teringat - ingat aje... nak tidur pun susah, nak makan, of cause I makan tapi the amount of food I taken is extra ordinary.. I can like eat Twice for every meals.. or eat Sebanyak-banyak yang mungkin sampai full gile ... Cause I wanna torture myself, I want me to rase sakit...
Now I can't stand it anymore.. I need to get out.. Away from everything....
Just now, after Jumaat prayer, I went back home without telling anyone
Only Erin knows it.. I wanna tell HER but it seems like she doesn't wanna know anything about me anymore..
So yeah.. I'm home..
Don't know when I'll be back, it depends on when I'm okay physically and mentally...
I like HEr too much to let her did this to me...
I'll help her with everything, when she needs me...
Since she needed to be alone, its hard for me to get use to this when I'm still in the campus so here I am at home.. need to clear up my mind...
Nak tengok tv...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to brain wash me.... k lah..
p/s I still missing her...
Nyaman plang makanan di sana tu...
For me, inda ku makan lagi cause udah ku makan macam pukul 6 tadi before cafeteria tutup, so aku dangani durang saja...
Since we have to be back inside the campus before 9pm, so make sure we finished every thing and find a cab before 8.50pm
But guess what?
when we arrived the whole campus, I mean the houses around the campus also black out
HAHAHa Like okay first time ever...
Thank god ada emergency light
If not cana kan kami bejalan around the campus tu?
Hahaha Talor wah...
This morning, plan to study CTU101 "agama" but then when I'm in the library, just realise that I left the book up stairs. Since I'm TOOOO "RAJIN" to ambil ... So I just study what I have in my bag which is MAT140 "maths"...
Bah kan blaajar ku nie.. lain kali tah lagi ahh.. [rindunye aku cakap dalam bahasa Brunei :) ]
bye bye bye bye bye bye
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I don't understand women...
I mean every girls.. tak kira tua atau muda.. semuanya sama je...
Dulu my sister..susah sangat nak pujuk dia... then N... then my mom... and her...
Like how can I ever understand them...
I tried my very best but I can't
Yes sometimes we were unsuccessful but then we shud not give up...
IF like that, should I just stop schooling/studying?? Ive fail my A'lvel.. and yes .. just I naik taxi.. then the taxi driver macam sindir - sindir aku, he actually pointing the fact towards his son but then aku kana... gila wah sasak ku.. nya wasting tia brapa year and all...
Aku yang patut nya sasak bukan ya yang patut sasak .... argh!!!!!!
Now she said.. she needs time.. okay then ... find...
Aku macam dah... entah lah .. aku pun tak tahu ape yang patut aku lakukan..
Then again here she is kat belakang aku.. with her frens... okay je.. ketawe2..
Trying to ignore me.. I just go with the flow je ... huh~~~~~
Btw I took this picture baru tadi petang, kat tengah2 jalan raye... gile dalam lubang dia! (and ofcuz time aku ambil gambar ni tak ade kereta lalu lintas:-
Unlike me.. I love doing so..
Thats our differences
So yesterday... I text her saying I wana call her up tonite, then surprisingly she said okay...
Im so~ excited....
So last night called her up..
1st ring she didn't pick up.. second ring also the same... then about half and hour I tried to called her then she pick it up..
Okay, I know y lama?
Cuz she puts the phone under her bed and on a silent mode...
Then I, sense something different to tone of voice..
then she said "call me back later wen I miss call "
We hung up..
I waited for like half an hour lagi.. mcm okay "sasak tah ku jua wah menunggu ani"
then I tried calling her, try and try and try...
Its like imagine this.. I started calling her at 12am right?!... then about 12.30am we talk a while then like 12.45am, we hung up again then until 1.10am baru I boleh cakap ngan dia... "So hard rite? I knoW!"
Her voice last night abit different cause, she got flue.. hahah cian...
Then we talk and talk and talk till it is 3 something I thing...
That is the longest phone call and the only phone call I have yang sweet gile with her
Actually nothing sweet about our conversation...
We just talk about ourself .. well basicly I'm the one who asking question .. About her ex's.. and how they treating her.. Seriously I don't think there is still a person that couple so many time yet, have being touch..
"touch" as in simple couple stuff like.. holding hands and all.. cause for me it's just what a couples do...
But she is like that hm...
And I'm the 1st guy touch her hands.. and I didn't realise it.. okay..
haha "DzaN jahat nye engkau"
And guys guess what? Pagi tadi she told me that her phone ade problem so have to hantar repair..
haha is it has anything to do with last night agenda... hahaha..
Later at 5pm shes coming back so tonite I'm going to see her :)
But after tonite me and her make a promise...
We promise that no lovy dovy... during this critical period....
Exam in few days.. so need to focuz!!!!
Study Study Study..
K now bye...
Nak study ni k
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Just to know how she is doing and all..
Then to my surprise... she kinda mad at me...
Well she suppose to be mad at me... since I type what i felt in here..
Then I explain to her that i cud never forget her and I told that between us there is nothing just hope...
and She is not my lover but more then a bestfren..
Then asked me what is more that best fren??!?!? is there anything more then a bestfren..
Frankly I dont know...
Okay i dont now...
I still wana how u r doing and all ... what ur up too and all.. but my feelings towards u is getting lesser... the hope I built long time ago .. dah hilang since u ade boyfren..
And now u nak aku buat ape???
Aku dah jatuh cinta wif someone else... but still I want u to know my current situation..
U know me better than my best frens... You know everything about me...
So i think I rase selesa talking about her to you than anyone in this world..
No other counselor can replace you..
Advice from you is my 1st priority...
So N.... can we be macam biase ??
jangan sedih lagi plzz..
Seriously.. I think shes da one...
She changes my life...
And you know what?I nearly fail it in my carier mark... like shit ... who ever fail their ctu paper damn...
I need to struggle in da final exam like shit.... Jus to get passing grade i need to strugle, its a freaking agama islam man... how come aku bleh cikit lagi fail
Aku ni islam ke???
Malu nye AKU!!!! I hate subject yang kene membaca... Especially in MALAY!!!!