Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Just Read...

Do I really have true friends? Or just plain friends..

Kejujuran for me is every important..

But lately I have none from my friends..

I feel like as if I'm a lab mouse, that being test on... Everyone knows whats going on except me...

I used to think that I have a lot of friends, who I can share everything with and don't feel ashamed to be open up to.. but now things change...

I don't blame the situation where I have to move from Brunei to Malaysia but its just that, it is hard for me to blend in..

Now I thought I found the persons that I could share my life with, my problems and my happiness but infact its all just my imagination... I'm the only one who think he and she is my best friends but for them..?!?!?! I don't think so...

People always tell me "Ramdzan jangan berfikirankan negative sangatlah... it is bad for your health." Well I do thing so sometimes, but I can't help it.. Usually naluri sangat tajam that I know something is wrong.. but I don't know what is it..

And when I know the truth from others.. guess what? you already know it too... from the mouth of the lioness itself pulak tu... like okay... Even though you promised to her to keep it secret.. but I'm your friend, why didn't you at least warn me indirectly... At least aku tahu from you... Not from others.. Is that what friends for???

I know sometimes, I can be stubborn and all but is it too much for you to be jujur to me?

Because of this and other factors, I feel like I have no one to go to... No one can back me up...

I have no one to trust and no one to lend me hands when I'm down...

I'm disappointed

Thankx to N.... who understand me the most... She called me up last night since I asked her to... We talked for hours.. I really need that since I have no one to turn to.. Before back in Brunei, when ever I'm down I could just give a ring to any of my friends and talk.. but now All my friends in Brunei is hard to be in contact.. and the fact that I don't have any friends here made me have to keep it to myself... Its hurt though since I'm not that type of person...

N.... she listened to me.. when I'm done she give me a bit of advice and then change to subject.. Just like that...
She could change the moody-ness I have stored inside and crying like shit.. suddenly you know it I'm laughing Like hell...
BESt gilER

Tapi I couldn't lie to myself... this morning when I woke up... Everything feel different... I still think what had happen.. It still fresh in my mind..

A deep cut could be heal just like that, when it did the scars still remain..

So now I'm writing this blog.. To express everything I have in my mind...
since my life starting from today is like A guy standing alone without friends... striving for success...

thank you...

Semoga dicucuri Rahmat

Maslinda "lyn" aka the office girl in my Uni.. married on 27/4/2008
Me and Erin using the UiTm bas along with the UiTM staff.
It takes 2 hours drive from Larkin Jb to Kota tinggi..
She really did look pretty... Berubah giler!!!!!
Selamat ya Lyn!!!!!

I've been tagged...

by didi, nysa & butter

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
30 years old is an excellent age, but after all everything depends on ALLAH right?

2. Where will you go if someone sponsor you a tour ticket?
Back to Brunei of cause... OR go visit Najat kat Perth OR go to Glasgow visit Azim

3. What's your favorite thing to do?
Being vain.. taking pictures of myself and others

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
NOpE but it sure can make you feel better after when you able to buy something to make yourself satisfied

5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?
I would want to be with all my good friends to share everything and have fun.. just for one whole day..

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
nope I believe in such thing anymore.. cause we are living in a modern world.. Money is a factor for everything

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?
KEjujuran dari mereka yang aku percaya...

8. who are you goin to tag?
I'm just to lazy to tag anyone

9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
YEs OF Cause!!! but If i LOVE only...

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you?
Okay since there are 3 gorgegous ladies who tagged me so I will list them separately..

cute, trust-worthty and kind hearted

LAWa,Pandai menyanyi and true-est friend

Sexy.., jujur and fun to be with

11. What are the requirements that you wish from the other half?

12. What type of person do you hate the most?
hypocrite and and tiada kejujuran

13. What is your ambition?
Lecturer or Work in bank or set up my own business

14. If you can teleport once, where would you go

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Family & Friends

16. If you could undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be?
Nothing... Cause anything that happen base on Qada' and qadar ALLah

17. If you have a chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
Terlampau jujur.. As in too straight forward

18. What music have you been listening to recently?
All type

19. What is your least favourite animal?

20. What would you do if no electricity for one week?
In the hostel? Well balik rumah lah.. hahahah

21. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Half of it aku simpan for future use.. half believe apa yang aku perlukan..

22. Amazing & excited experience today than My usual daily life
Today?!?! NOTHING...