-black out- AGAIN hahak

Since I'm at home.. Ive been trying to read the Ctu book, I mean trying.. not actually reading it... I'm so lazy to read it.. I just hold the book and watch TV instead hahah.. Setan to many inside my mind... but I did manage to read sikit...

This is book That I have to read, I know it is small and short but I'm tooo Damn LAZY

And then yesterday, while I finished writing my blog... the current being cut off..I thought like all around the neighbourhood being cut.. Rupanye just my house hahak..Then I call abg sebelah rumah tengok kan the switch all .. rupanya ada short.. We called the tenaga national people.. malam macma kul 8pm wah baru durang datang .. Its really dark hahaha palui(bodoh)

Malam baru okay.. tapi malas pulak nak blajar. My mom tak sempat nak masak so me and my cuzen went to kadai makan near to my house... We hangout and just borak - borak.. Then while I ate I try to call HER.. then she pick up, We talk as usual then she said shes not mad at me.. and shes okay now.. she start to be terus terang.. tell me everything... the flame that had just started to blow now, its begins to relight again.. this what I want from this "thing".. trust.. the truth.. now I know the negative side of her...and I guess I can bear with it...

She doesn't like to be called that often.. that makes her feel uneasy.. she doesn't like us to waste credit and time just to sms... and I think thats what i need rite now, a knock on my head.. Ni kan masa EXAM so fudge this all thing focuss focus!!!!! hahah

This is what I ate "mee kong poo" haha weird huh?

okay then later...

Don't know what to do..

This up coming exam stress me out...
Sometimes i feel like killing myself...
All the negative stuff overwhelm me..
I don't know how should I think and react any more...
I easily touch when people say bad things about me.. and I'm easily get mad when something gone wrong

And HER...
She is stressing about her Carrier mark since she got the lowest among all...
She blames herself for being stupid
I tried to "pujuk" her but she wont let me...
I want to be there when she need shoulder to cry on and I want to be there every time she need someone to talk to... But...
She won't let me...
She just shut me out of her life just like that...
I wanna teach her and she don't want... She prefer study alone up stairs in her room..
WHY?!?!
I admit maybe the way I teach is a bit 'garang' but I can change...
I always change
But.. arghh..
What should I do.?
When I called her she didn't pick up... when I text her she didn't reply...
It's like she avoiding me..
When she does pick up, she acts as if nothing happen.. She said shes not mad and all... just that she is stupid.. that's what coming out from her mouth.. ERGHH!!
AGAK bengang jugak aku dengar kadang - kadang tapi I still like her.. y? Y? y?

I know I still can concentrate on my studies.. I still can focus on the subjects but, the stress and Worried of everything now Showing on my face,... I cant hide them anymore..
And the feeling of unsatisfied masih ade..
Like teringat - ingat aje... nak tidur pun susah, nak makan, of cause I makan tapi the amount of food I taken is extra ordinary.. I can like eat Twice for every meals.. or eat Sebanyak-banyak yang mungkin sampai full gile ... Cause I wanna torture myself, I want me to rase sakit...

Now I can't stand it anymore.. I need to get out.. Away from everything....

Just now, after Jumaat prayer, I went back home without telling anyone
Only Erin knows it.. I wanna tell HER but it seems like she doesn't wanna know anything about me anymore..
So yeah.. I'm home..
Don't know when I'll be back, it depends on when I'm okay physically and mentally...

I like HEr too much to let her did this to me...
I'll help her with everything, when she needs me...
Since she needed to be alone, its hard for me to get use to this when I'm still in the campus so here I am at home.. need to clear up my mind...

Nak tengok tv...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to brain wash me.... k lah..

p/s I still missing her...

-Black Out-

Since during the study week only few study left in the campus, the cafeteria will be close at night. So yesterday evening (about 8pm or so) my friends and I went out to 'larkin perdana' to a 24hours restaurant mamak called "Osman"
Nyaman plang makanan di sana tu...
For me, inda ku makan lagi cause udah ku makan macam pukul 6 tadi before cafeteria tutup, so aku dangani durang saja...
Since we have to be back inside the campus before 9pm, so make sure we finished every thing and find a cab before 8.50pm
But guess what?
when we arrived the whole campus, I mean the houses around the campus also black out
HAHAHa Like okay first time ever...
Thank god ada emergency light
If not cana kan kami bejalan around the campus tu?
Hahaha Talor wah...
This morning, plan to study CTU101 "agama" but then when I'm in the library, just realise that I left the book up stairs. Since I'm TOOOO "RAJIN" to ambil ... So I just study what I have in my bag which is MAT140 "maths"...

Bah kan blaajar ku nie.. lain kali tah lagi ahh.. [rindunye aku cakap dalam bahasa Brunei :) ]

bye bye bye bye bye bye