Raya raya raya.......

Photos will be post up let on when I feel like it...

Hm... so...

Today is officially the 4th of Raya... I still can't enjoy raya as I still didn't enjoy raya as I used to...

My mind is somewhere else...

I got lot of reading to do...

Starting from Monday next week.. I got quizzes and tests .. for the whole 2 weeks... EVERYDAY.

Then after 2 weeks is my final exam...

Like??!?!?!?!!!?!? MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't prepared a thing!!!!!!!!!

none....

This semester I thought I could relax a bit but then..

This semester sucked up my brain ability...

Cause all the subject need my "remember" and "focus" strength....


Like for example LAW... Malaysian Economic... IT... Public Relations... and Arabic...

Especially Arabic.. I'm totally screwed...

Argh!!!!!!!!

Help me...

When can I start do my study...

Where is tuition teacher when I need one...

Today my family plans to go to "air hitam" then Perak.. to raya at my mom's punya sister...

I thought of not following... but since I'm the last son.. "yang bongsu kata kan" I must go....

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Guess the only thing to do.. read along the journey... hm.....

I'll try my best lah....

p/s Selamat Hari Raya to all and for UiTM buddy ingat ingat lah... yang kita banyak exam lepas raya ni huahauhauhauahhauahhahahahahah

HPPY BIRTHDAY YANA!!!!!!!!

SELAMAT HARI ULANG TAHUN!!!!
UMUR SEMAKIN MENINGKAT...
SO SEMANGAT PUN TIDAK BOLEH GENTAR!!!!

MUDAH MUDAHAN YANA DAPAT APA YANG YANA DOA KAN...
AMIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally the I got the answer... thank you...

" i moved on, i am happy with who i am with now. i am finally clear with what i want, i know who i want. and i don't want to live in the past" I re-quote what Her boyfriend quote from her...

I guess... shes right... I should moved on too...

But I think I have... moving on...

Just that... I hate losings...

Losing as precious as a friendship and relationship...

I did being hit with a similar statement by my brother...

Asking me to forget everything...

The past... the family-angkat I have, the experiences and friends...

But I said NO WAY!!!

Maybe I don't believe in long-distance relationship either love, family ties and friendship...

But still I secretly without telling anyone... cherish the bonds... keep it and store it.. hoping it will last...

And surprisingly.. it does last... still now..

I still in contact with my Brunei family - angkat.. my bestfriends...

Well yes not like old times but still they are in my mind...

This is just me...

When I open up my heart fully to some one I get emotionally attach...

They will never be forgotten... Even though it hurts badly to think of it...


I respect her decision... moved on...

Finally I have a reason to close this door, locked forever and throw the key so that I could never look back... and never talk about it...

Maybe by now... I could open up new doors... completely different ...

Takes time...

But hey... need to focus on my studies and career first then... this stuff...

Besides... I got friends to fill my time...

I let Allah to decide everything

kalau ade, ade lah.. kalau tak ade.. so what... Allah sentiasa membahagia kan umat nya in one way or another.. segala nya ada hikmah nya...

ku been tagged by Zura!

- known as : Mohd Ramdzan Ismail/dzan/jan/zan/ram/jandi
- born : 14th May 1987
- hair color : Black
- eye : Really Dark Brown

SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER...

- Fallen off the bed?:Yup
- Broken someone else's heart?: May be A long time ago..
- Had your heart broken?: Well yes many time.. but hey.. I still standing rite?
- Had a dream come true?: Well my dreams always turn out to be the opposite..

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY...

- Wearing : Sleeveless shirt and a khaki pants
- Listening to : The cheerful voice of family in the early morning...
- Located : My Brother's room
- Chatting with : No one
- Should REALLY be : taking a bath

SECTION 4 - DO YOU...

- Have any piercings : No
- Drive : Pretty much
- Drink : Well beside alcohol stuff then yes..

SECTION 5 - LAST PERSON YOU...

- Hugged : My mom (di pagi raya)
- IMed : Eraimi(My buddy)
- Talked with on the phone : Yana (Cuz she got free talk time on maxis due to her birthday today..
- Text : Yana

SECTION 6 - PERSONAL...

- What do you want to be when you grow up?
: At first I wana become a doctor,Now I'm guessing A lecturer suit for me... '''''''' I could also have the title Doctor when I complete my PHD. ANd maybe someday own a Mc Donald franchise...

- What comes first in your life?
: Family (including family angkat) and Friends!!

- What do you usually think about before you go to bed?
: People around me...

SECTION 7 - FAVOURITES...

- Show : Hm.. well just watch all..
- Store : do I have to choose??
- Food : Ayam masak lemak cili padi...
- Color : Range from White to brown to black... Basicly pastel and natural colour lah..

SECTION 8 - DO YOU...

- Like to give hugs : Yup..
- Like to walk in the rain : only if I have to
- Prefer black or blue : black
- Have stuffed animals : Yup (given by friends)

SECTION 9 - THIS OR THAT...(pick)

- Pierced nose or tongue : tongue
- MTV or BET : MTV
- 7th Heaven or Dawsons Creek : I have no idea..
- Chocolate or flowers : choc.
- Color or black-and-white photos : Colour.. tapi if ada sepian mode kan lawa..
- Stay up late or sleep in : sleep in
- Hot or cold : Cold
- Sun or moon : Moon
- Left or Right : right
- 10 Acquaintances or one best friend : Both.. To share everything
- Spring or fall : Fall
- Happy or sad : Both thats make my like..
- Wonder or amazement : hm.,...

SECTION 10 :Firsts...

- First self purchased CD : hm.. think dzan think
- First pet : a cat(an austalian cat given by jiran) called honey.. unfortunately kena curi
- First piercing/tattoo : nooo way....

SECTION 11 : LASTS...

- Last GOOD cry : Time mms early this semester.... hehehe
- Last phone call : last night..
- Last time showered : last night at 8pm..

SECTION 12 : CURRENT...

- Current mood : blank...
- Current food : nothing
- Current hair : a messed

SECTION 13 : WHO LAST...

- Made you smile : family...
- Saw you cry : all the pembantu mahasiswa... and the juniors.. hehehe

SECTION 14 : WOULD YOU RATHER...

- Be serious or be funny?
: Like to be serious always yet funny at times..

- Drink whole or skim milk?
: Whole Milk

- Spend time with your parents or enemies?
: Parents cause they are my banker...

SECTION 15 : DO YOU PREFER...

- Do you prefer gray or black : Black
- Lust or love : if i choose both??!?!?!?
- Sunrise or sunset : Both...

SECTION 16 : ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

- Do you like anyone?
: YES

- Do you believe in love at first sight?
: YUp but I never had one...

- Do you fall for the wrong guy or girl?
: USed to...

Busy busy busy .... Busybody?!?!?!?!?!

Well the thing about me is that I terlalu ada rase kesian...

Like I dont know how to overcome that feeling...

I didn't say that Im nice.. cause I dont think I am...

But yeah....

This is way... I don't want to be close to anyone...

Cause once I am close.. then I will care... and the level of my caring-ness will reach to the top-est level.. that at times.. something simple will make me sensitive..

But this is who I am....

Yes I can change.. but I think ... people need me to be like this...

I need my self to be like this.. cause if not.. my life will be just plain boring....

Well this is me.. what to do...